At least she is honest …
Carefull what you’re eating …
Peter is relaxing after work …
Peter is relaxing after work one day in a bar on the top floor of a New York skyscraper. While he’s sipping his drink, another man approaches him. He looks like an average guy; suit, tie, glasses, and he’s pretty drunk.
“Hey,” says the guy. “I’ll give you fifty dollars to jump out that window and jump back in.” The man points to an open window not far off.
Peter looks at the man like he’s crazy. “No thanks, I think I’ll just sit and enjoy my drink.” The man shrugs and wanders off.
About 30 minutes later, the man returns. Now he’s even more drunk; his tie has been loosened, his hat is gone, and he’s starting to slur. “Hey,” he says. “I’ll give you…five hunnert dollars to jump out that window and jump back in.”
Now Peter is getting irritated. “No, please leave me alone.” The man shrugs and wanders off again.
Twenty minutes later, the man returns yet again. Now he’s REALLY drunk; his glasses are broken, there’s a burn hole in his suit, and he’s wearing his tie around his head. “Hey, I’ll giff you five…hic…..THOUSAND dollerz to jub’ out ‘at window…..and jum’ baggin.”
Now Peter is mad, and just wants to get rid of this drunkard. “Tell you what,” he says. “You do it first and I’ll do it for free.”
The drunk man thinks for a second, and then stumbles over to the window, jumps out and jumps back in. Shocked, Peter thinks to himself, “If this drunk asshole can do it, surely I can.” So Peter walks over to the window, takes a deep breath, and jumps out the window. He quickly falls to his death.
The drunk man is standing by the bar, chuckling to himself. The bartender looks at him and says “You sure are a dick when you’re drunk, Superman.”
A woman was shopping …
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she had selected the following items: A half-gallon of 2% milk, A half carton of eggs, A quart of orange juice, A small head of romaine lettuce, A 2-pound can of coffee, And a 1-pound package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.”
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?”
The drunk replied, “‘Cause you’re ugly.”
10 Worst Company Domain Names
Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today’s world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as other see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn’t give their domain names enough consideration:
1. A site called ‘Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… is www.whorepresents.com
2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com
3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net
4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com
5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company… www.powergenitalia.com
6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales: www.molestationnursery.com
7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always www.ipanywhere.com
8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is www.cummingfirst.com
9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website: www.speedofart.com
10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at www.gotahoe.com
